about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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