I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
