It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize