the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
