yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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