Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
