we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
