i used baking grease as lip gloss
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
