4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
