Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Farmville is her only friend.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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