But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
