She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
