My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize