i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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