I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
did you just send me my own nude
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
