Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
