i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
