Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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