3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We need to get me chipped asap
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
