Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
