did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just cropdusted the office
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize