I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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