i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
farters have to be the big spoon...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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