He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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