she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
