I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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