I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she looked like the before picture.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize