White coat. Heels.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
