He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
