Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
