Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize