sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we have officially lost it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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