do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
