coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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