I think I won the penis lottery.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize