yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
