I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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