she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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