my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
