It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
