Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
