we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
