are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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