I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
