Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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