Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
