I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She said her name was "party"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
