So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
