what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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