i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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