# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize