its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
