Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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