You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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