Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
