For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
