I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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