no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
