Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
