I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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