I'm gonna have a badass scar
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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