So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
