Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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