You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize