omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
one might say we're banned from that church
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
