Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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