Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Still dying that you shit outside
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
