hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
