I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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