NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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