I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
