like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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