why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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