i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
