I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Enjoy the penises
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
