why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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