You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize