Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
