I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the day after is always just damage control
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
