pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We talked him into tasing himself.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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