worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
