I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
