I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize