i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
