ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
