His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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