she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize