Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize