i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
