Non-Jews are for practice
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
