He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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